And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize