No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
