they need to just BURY HIM!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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