Betty ford says i'm here all night
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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