i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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