Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
