We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize