One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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