Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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