I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
