Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
