That's when you crack a 10am beer
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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