so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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