remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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