apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize