remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We just shotgunned beers for America
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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