Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
