she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
