I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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