she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Yo dont text me then not text me
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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