It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
