Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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