FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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