I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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