That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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