ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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