...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
