i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He? As in you personified your dick?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
