i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize