Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
