This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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