Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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