Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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