So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Randomize
