I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
