It's like God shit irony all over that family
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
