Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
