you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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