There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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