Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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