if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
