are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
