This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
