I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
