i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
