She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
