I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I came so hard my ears popped.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
