I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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