and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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