i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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