yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
