Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
