I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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