just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
