We should be called the Road Head Warriors
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
