I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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