Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
