I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
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