don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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