please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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