You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
