Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
