im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
