remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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