So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
