You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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