Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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