You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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