Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
