Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
