just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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