he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just want to make out with him forever
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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