How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
