P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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