no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
