In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
