My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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